What the Hell?

I just saw this article. It’s… I don’t know what to say. See for yourself.


Dispute over nudity in Shelburne takes an unusual turn

If you haven’t been to Shelburne lately it may come as a surprise to learn that Vermont has no law against public nudity as such. Many communities, including Burlington, do have local ordinances against it, but Shelburne is not one of them.

Such an oversight can easily go unnoticed for many years, but since we first reported on the issue in 2021, an increasing number of self proclaimed nudists have taken to enjoying Shelburne’s streets and parks au naturel. Recently the situation has gained enough notoriety that it became an unintended tourist attraction of sorts, drawing nudists from out of town, and even out of state. Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time something like this happened, either. In 2007, Brattleboro finally put an end to a similar nudity problem with an emergency ordinance.

Nudist relaxes outside a Shelburne coffee shop.

But the Shelburne City Council had another idea: nudity licenses. “I think it could be a good opportunity for our town.”, said council member Laura Erickson. “We’ll do a background check to screen out anyone shady, like sex offenders; and non-residents will have to pay a small fee, which will ensure this unique type of tourist brings in some revenue.”

Details are still to be determined, but some residents are alarmed. We spoke with Danial Shiflet, 34 after the first public meeting on the plan. “I don’t think it’s something we should condone. Period. Why can’t we just ban it like Brattleboro did?”

Female toplessness is also a common sight, especailly at public events and festivals.

If that wasn’t strange enough, there’s one more twist. In what some see as a bid to sabotage the plan, another council member, Roger Grondahl announced he’d only back the licenses on one condition: that anyone holding such a license be forbidden to wear clothes within city limits. “No, it’s not a joke. I know it might seem extreme, but I think it’s important to make sure these are real nudists and not perverts or people just out for a laugh at our town’s expense.”, he said when reached for comment.

It might sound crazy, be it seems he has thought it through. In a press release, he laid out a number of details, such as exceptions for cold weather or necessary safety equipment, and a minimum license period of one year, to ensure applicants are fully committed.

One of many ”skinny dippers” who now frequent LaPlatte Nature Park.

Laura Erickson, who originally proposed the nudity licenses, had this to say: “At first I hated that idea, but after thinking it over I kind of see his point. If that’s the compromise it takes to get this passed I’m still prepared to go forward. In fact, as a show of support I’ll be attending the next council meeting in the buff, just as someone would have to do if they registered for a license under his proposal.”

Won’t that be something to see? You can be sure we’ll be there with our photographer and keep your up to date on this story as it develops.

Editor’s Note: We do not usually feature nudity in this publication, but given the unique situation we have endeavored to illustrate this story with pictures that are tasteful but provide an accurate, uncensored look at the subject matter.


So yes, this was of course an April Fool. One which I wrote myself. Previously this appeared using a fake domain name and formatted to look like a legit news site. But I think it’s better to drop the pretense at this point. I have tagged it as a #story post now since that’s what it really is I suppose.

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17 Replies to “What the Hell?”

  1. It’s not VT or KS but here in the west where going NIP (nude in public) may soon proliferate and become common place! Did u know r city law set by r courts alteady states, “it’s legal to be naked anywhere, any time in Seattle”! Thsts no late April
    Fools joke but very true and u can look it up to confirm!

    However, don’t get too excited since of the 10 years I’ve been living here I’ve only seen one person, a BIP (bottomless IP) young lady leaving the hospital I use, go at least partially NIP. That’s besides the annual Summer Solstice Parade (SSP) in June (6/22 this year) where the WNBRers r always there and possibly other NIP people! Like the one year when I brought a young female nude model to be in the SSP! She even posed with a Seattle PD officer whose only comment was, “girls usually wear more paint” as she wasn’t wearing any or any clothes either, of course!

    As “for the children”? I’m an uncle and great uncle many times over so I do care deeply about child safety! However, I often see many parents bring their very young children to the SSP reportedly for educational purposes. It appears the parents view this as an excellent opportunity for an early biology (FYI: I’m a Certified Wildlife Biologist) and anatomy lesson as they explain the true facts of the usually hidden anatomical parts of the genders to their young kids so they get the true and accurate “facts of life”!

    During the past couple years of my retirement I’ve been thoroughly snd seriously researching NIP! I’ve found 9 valid reasons, mostly scientifically-based, why going NIP or having a real PN world is essential to keeping our current way of life going. Actually I just came up with reason #10 (Education) above. However, reason #1 is keeping all of us or actually r progeny alive since becoming a NIP-PN will greatly help in “Controlling Climate Chabge Inpacts (C3I). Also the name of my upcoming book
    Series with volume I due out this Christmas?). The details of that reason and the other 8/9 reasons will be fully explained on my NIP website (nude-in-America.com) (NIA) that should be running next month?

    Hence, my one goal is to give r “Emerald City” of Seattle a second moniker:
    “NIP Capital of the World”! I’m hoping the saying “what happens in the west often goes east” is true so thst eventually KS and VT and the rest of the country and world will be going to a real PN world!

    NWO Webmaster: I hope u don’t mind my couple of shameless plugs in my above text?
    I would like to highly commend this site of yours as, “The best free NIP website on the entire internet” on my NIA website with your permission?

  2. Unfortunately, it’s an april fools joke (literally click anything on the page, it leads to a page that just says April fools!), but omg could you imagine??

    • What gave it away for me was the fact that the “naughty bits” weren’t pixelated. 999 times out of 1000 if it’s genuine the spoilsport censors get to it before it goes online.

  3. It certainly looks like an April Fool article, but has the author looked at NWO for inspiration? The parallels are so close . . .

  4. Most definitely an April Fool but could you imagine the protests and petitions from Karen’s worried about the children

  5. It is an April Fools Article. But what if it was considered for a more round-the-year place like Sothern Cal. Once the hoopla was over it was accepted as a normal thing to see. But there are some downsides to note: After what could be a short period, seeing a bare breast or other parts of the body may become normalized. It would lead to the simple requirement for those who are unclothed to have something to sit on and not partake in sexual activity.

    • Would it be a bad thing if it got normalized though? Maybe we’d get over the sexual hype of nudity as humans

  6. The part that concerns me (and I will paraphrase) is that the supposed licenses are there to ensure economic stability from tourists. I understand weeding out the creeps and that, but I feel that, for the everyday nudist who just wants to be bare, this is a bit unfair.

    However, from a Permanude perspective, the counter rule that people have to stay naked if licenses are agreed to, well, that’s like this site just broke the 4th wall

  7. This is an interesting combination of real-life history and the premise of this website. Kansas has no state law against nudity, but several cities do. Someone discovered that Topeka, the capital, had no such restriction and a gentleman took a nude walk down a road in daylight. It took about a week for the city to pass a new law after that. Nudity licenses sound a lot like PN registration, don’t they; Including the provision that once licensed, you must stay naked. I vote for April 1st article.

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